reflecting

I like Sundays because I try to take time to reflect and ponder. I spent my time at church today reflecting on how I have been feeling for the last few weeks and months. I’ve been mostly sad. This brought me to reflect on other times in my life when I have felt overcome with grief, sadness, and have had a negative view of life and the world. More specifically, it brought me to reflect on what has gotten me through those negative times. The answer came almost immediately: looking outside myself.

Forgetting about myself and focusing on serving others according to their needs has been one of the best ways I have found to get over my own problems. It worked when I was a missionary in Chile for 18 months. For a time I was so down every day and it was like I had to throw myself out of bed each morning or else I would never get up. Once I decided to focus on other people and helping them rather than how much I missed home and how much I didn’t get along with my companion, it was still hard. But it got better. And I was happier with time.

After I got home and had to readjust to “real” life and college, I found myself sad all the time again. What got me out of that one was working for a youth camp called EFY. I spent my whole summer with 14-15 year old kids, playing games, dancing, laughing, and talking about Jesus. I was so happy at the end of that summer.

I’m in a rut again and I don’t really see a way to get out of it. I know I need to focus on serving and uplifting others. I know that will be helpful. But I have midterms to study for and papers to write. I’m in the thick of the semester and as soon as it’s over another one starts.

I went to listen to my sister speak in church today and her message really touched me. She talked about how God promises us good things to come. She talked about the hope that that can give in our lives when we feel we are lost in our own wilderness. She said, “afflictions and blessings are both numberless, but we get to choose which ones we count.”

I am going to try to count the good things; the hope of blessings to come. Reflecting today has brought me really good insight and a direction to continue forward.

So take some time to reflect on your life today. How are you doing really? How do you wish you were doing? What do you need to do to get there? You might be surprised what you learn by being still.